One thumb way up...my ass!

Hello fellow movie buffs and what nots. It was requested that I review a certain Halloween flick that has recently graced our silver screens: SAW II.

It was alright.

That's it. Enjoy the movie.


Ha ha, just kidding. I'll get a little bit more into it here. Unfortunately, you can never see a sequal without comparing it to it's kick-ass big brother that started it all. Like any other sequal (Terminator 2 and Empire and Jedi aside) SAW II just wasn't as good as the first. I enjoyed it, but I'm glad I only paid $5.50 to see it. They didn't try to make up for a lack of story by adding hella gore like most horror sequals do, but it did present a lot of really cool ideas that never got developed...at all...and that really pisses me off! I hate it when movies focus on this really cool idea to get the audience thinking and then just drop it by saying, "Oh yeah, that was just a distraction so you wouldn't know what was really going on. Yeah, that totally had absolutely nothing to do with the movie. That would've been cool if it did though, huh?" Fucking idiots!

Nobody knew what was going on. Congratulations! You surprised at the end once again. Except this time it wasn't nearly as FREAKIN' AWESOME as the first one. The first SAW's ending not only came out of nowhere, but just blew my freakin' mind. SAW II's ending I also didn't see coming, but when it arrived I just thought, "Hmm. Well, that was one way to go with it...I guess."

The movie just lacked the tension that the first one thrived on. It especially lacked freaky scenes like walking through a pitch black apartment using the 2 second flash on your camera as your only source of light. God I love that scene!

All in all I would wait for the cheap seats or a rental at the store to see SAW II. They hopped far too quickly onto the success of the first one and rushed through the development of this story just to get it out by the next Halloween. Besides, November 1st is officially the beginning of Christmas. And nobody wants to see creative (but not that creative) ways for bad people to die very bad deaths at Christmas...except maybe Satan, who, by the way, has a cameo in the Exorcism of Emily Rose...and the new Harry Potter movie. At least that's what I heard.

If you still doubt me and say, "Oh Lance, you just loved the first one far too much to ever be satisfied by this more than decent horror flick," than you can lick my balls. And when you're done you can go watch SAW II and enjoy it just a little bit more than me because your expectations have now been lowered. I also suggest you go see it before rewatching the first one in order to lessen the expectations even more. Then if you are still disappointed you can watch the first SAW when you get home and feel satisfied.

Crooked Landlord

Fucking landlords and their crooked fucking ways! I want to drive down to Hudson, WI to knock on my old landlord's door, kick him in his tiny fucking nutsack and piss in his face! I don't even care that it would cost me more in gas to drive down there than the $32.34 that he's currently screwing me out of.

For those of you just joining my head right now, let me explain:
Almost 4 fucking months ago my dipshit, crazy, little, careless landlord sent me back my security deposit minus $32.34 for a final New Richmond Utilities bill that had been sent to him in my name. He claims to have paid the bill for me and took out the $32.34 from my deposit. Every fucking month since then, I get a Goddamn bill from New Richmond Utilities saying I still owe this $32.34...which has now been bumped to $35 because it's so mother-fucking late. Two months ago when I first noticed I was still getting this letter I called Joey One-nut to ask him why they never received a payment from him.

"Oh, I sent that in. I'll talk to them. They should have that."

I'm not stupid. I knew he'd just blow it off, just like he blows his mother off every night before he goes to bed. Last two months...I still get these fucking letters. I just got one today...hence the angry blog. I called Joe and talked to some other dipshit named Richard...but we'll just call him Dick. Dick at least pretended to give a shit and write down all my info that he'll be passing on to Joe.

I have a letter from Joe stating he took $32.34 from my deposit for stated bill. I have bills from New Richmond Utilities stating they never received such payment. Someone is lying or someone made a big fucking mistake that needs to be taken care of before somebody dies and I get arrested in Wisconsin. I hate landlords. I don't care how nice they are when you live there, as soon as you don't it's all about the Benjamins.

Fucking landlords can lick my angry balls!

P.S. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Baaaaack.

My recent titles just prove my complete lack of original thinking lately (hence the outdated blog). I would like to apologize to my friends who have repeatedly scolded me for not updating them on my life. Unfortunately, I really have nothing to write about lately. I just got a job at Best Buy in town a few weeks ago. They were pissing the hell out of me, but that's a long, boring story about a complete lack of communication (which as a proud forensicator, I was very much annoyed by).

I recently got promoted at the service center, which is kind of cool since you're technically not supposed to be able to switch departments for 90 days. I guess I was close enough. I don't know how much more I'll be getting paid or when I'll start in my new department, but I'm really only excited about it because one of the products I'll be working with is the REI card--which I just got!

Fargo's ok, but I miss all my Minnesota friends just like Ryan. I really missed going over there for Halloween. I would have much rather lost my hearing listening to David scream like a little girl than sit at home and watch Psycho by myself.

Basically I'm working, still working out (and still not gaining any weight), sleeping less but shopping more. Still no girl friend, still no hair, but I just joined netflix so I can watch like two movies a week for $10 a month! Woo hoo!

My response to the Hennepin County Sherrif's Office

A while back, some of you may remember, I got arrested in the cities. I was reminded of this a couple of times this week and forgot about something I had written to the officers who chose to comment on that specific blog. I was reminiscing through my blog today when I came accross their comment and my response to it. I realized that some of you might not of even seen what the officers wrote, or what I wrote back. I responded in a blog too, but felt I came accross too bitter. So, I deleted the blog and posted a smaller comment that I was much happier with. I found it to be humerous when I reread it today and thought I'd cop out (no pun intended) and post it as my latest blog. I hope you enjoy it too. My copy and pasting isn't working here so you can just click on this link and laugh at my bitterness.