My blog is dead...and I am sorry.

Well, it's been over a month since I've posted a blog. I've written a couple but was too embarrassed to post them. I've had a lot on my mind lately that I'd rather not post on the internet. I've been feeling anxious, overwhelmed, tired, and just a little down. So many people have said to me lately, "Wow, you look really tired." Which is really just a more polite way to tell someone they look like shit. I'm not even that "tired" in the literal sense of the word, but yes, I am tired. Just...tired.

I apologize for not e-mailing or calling too many people about this. I don't like to bitch about the petiness of my problems when others have it much, much worse. I guess I just wish I had more confidence in myself and that I didn't feel like crying everytime I thought about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life...something I thought would've been figured out 3 years ago. So, I feel like I'm trying to catch up before it's too late. People say, "You're still young. You're only 25." Well, 25 just seems a little bit older to me right now because I seem to be the only one not going anywhere, or doing anything...at all...in my life. I didn't want to write this blog because I hate bringing people down. I've just had too many comments about my lack of posting and I felt I should explain. Anyway, it looks like I'll have my 2 days off after Christmas to hang out with you all. Even though it's only two days, I know we'll have a good time.

Jean, thank you so much for helping with my essay. That'll be one less thing to worry about very soon because of your help. Thank you.

Ryan, thank you for the talk. It's sad what we're going through right now, but great that we can go through it together.

Shannon, thank you for showing me I'm really not working that hard, because you are freakin' crazy with your 3 jobs. I cannot wait to see what you made me for Christmas!

Chad, Jean said you were sending me some constructive criticism for my essay as well. Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me out. And yes, "Don't you wanna Lance?" is genious.

David, I miss you and Clyde too. I hope we'll be in the cities at the same time so I can see you again.

Megan, thank you for the updates. I'm so jealous of Chile, but am glad you're having such a good time. Call me when you get back.

Jennifer, congrats on all your musical success. You know, you had to hear my crappy guitar playing, but I have never had the honor of listening to you play any of the thousands of instruments you can play. What's up?

Ok, I think that's everyone who reads my blog. If I forgot someone, I'm sorry. You can chew my ass out later. I guess that's it. I'm going to bed to try and not look like shit, I mean so "tired" tomorrow.