Together we've officially put the VD back in Valentine's Day
What is it about this fucking day? I had such aspirations about my blog this morning that have just dwindled into confusion and a little sadness. I've actually spent the first half of February "strategizing" on how I can start dating again so I won't be alone for Valentine's Day. Me! I fucking hate Valentine's Day! I've never once believed in this corporate, stressfilled, bitter, misrepresnted "holiday," even when I wasn't single. It's all bullshit. I know it's bullshit and yet there's this pressure, and this inescapable feeling.
I actually asked my Magic 8 Ball if I was going to make out with someone on Valentine's Day (only half joking, of course). It said yes. Than I asked it if it was the girl from Best Buy that may, or may not be flirting with me (I can never fucking tell because most of the time it's just part of their personality) and it said yes. Did I then proceed to go to Best Buy maybe just a couple more times than I needed to in hopes of catching this possibly flirtatious woman at the register? Maybe. Did it do me any good? Fuck no. But in my chickenshit defense she was actually finishing up her break and getting back on the registers just as I was leaving...BOTH TIMES! Impecable timing. Feeling discouraged, I came back to the Magic 8 Ball and asked it again. It's sources now said no. Who the fuck are these sources? Do you even have any sources or are you just basing it on my own confidence level at that time so you're always right? Who knows.
So, all day today I was thinking (hoping rather) that someone would call me and ask me to do something today so I wouldn't spend another day in my apartment alone with my fucking DVD's and guitars. Wouldn't you know it, two single guys actually call me and ask me to join them for free wings at the Ground Round. Great! I can go out to a bar that would most likely not host Valentine's Day couples, but rather single women. I won't appear creepy because I'm there with my buddies and not drinking alone. I figure we'll hang out for awhile, maybe scope the room for some chicks, or whatever it is we guys do when we're...what...on the prowl? I don't even know. And that didn't happen. I came, I had a beer, I ate free wings, and I went home to 2 new rentals from Netflix and an out of tune Fender.
Now I'm just pissed. I debate like the mother fucking Clash: "Should I stay or should I go?" Why does it matter? It didn't matter yesterday. But I want to go out. I want to so bad, but I'm scared. I wouldn't know what to do. There is a club DIRECTLY behind my apartment building that I could get painstakingly drunk at, possibly meet someone and have a good fucking night. Instead I read my friends' blogs before writing my annual VD blog. I'm not even bitter about V-Day because I don't hate people who do have someone. My mom told me yesterday that all her plans for today were a secret and Al couldn't know, and I thought it was the cutest thing ever.
I hate the whole misinterpretation of this whole day. First of all, it isn't for today, it's all fucking month. It's almost as bad as Christmas after Halloween. "Oh, New Years is over, time to get ready for Valentine's day!" Almost a month ago my supervisor at the bank asked me if I wanted to take part in a small Valentine, inner office exchange. Of course I said yes, because it's always fun to participate...and get free candy. Plus, I made a Valentine box like we used to in grade school for people to place their Valentine cards in. It said, "Lance's V-Day Box of Love...Because chicks dig bald, scrawny, white guys." And it had my top 5 V-Day pick up lines that I stole from my ADS sophmore year written on the back of it. I received several compliments from my co-workers, several of whom I hadn't even met, saying it was, cute, halarious, a riot, and down right enjoyable. It served its purpose of helping people get to know me better, and introducing me to others in my department. However, all the women who really liked it already knew me and are either married or practically married.
I'm sorry I'm rambling, but my point is this:
It really sucks that there's a day requiring you to celebrate the one you love in order to boost the economy because of the dry spell after the holidays. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the day to celebrate your relationship called your anniversary? How I feel, and how I've always felt, is that you shouldn't need one day set aside to appreciate the one you love. It shouldn't be on your anniversary, or Valentine's day, or a birthday, or whatever Day it might be. What's romantic about such a requirement? Wouldn't it feel more heartfelt if it was done just because?
"Hey, I saw this and thought of you today." or, "I really missed you today, so I did this to show you how much you mean to me." Or, God damnit why can't we just say, "I love you, and I did this because I love you so much. Not because it's Valentine's Day, not because I thought I should, but because I wanted to. Because you mean so fucking much to me I don't know what I'd do without you, and I just thought you deserved to know that." God bless those of you out there who do that.
To all my friends who are feeling down today, don't. If it wasn't for Hallmark, it'd be just like any other day. Please, God, don't feel unloved. Even though this may not be the kind of love you're looking for, I do want to say that I love you, and not because it's Valentine's Day, but because you deserve to know that.
I actually asked my Magic 8 Ball if I was going to make out with someone on Valentine's Day (only half joking, of course). It said yes. Than I asked it if it was the girl from Best Buy that may, or may not be flirting with me (I can never fucking tell because most of the time it's just part of their personality) and it said yes. Did I then proceed to go to Best Buy maybe just a couple more times than I needed to in hopes of catching this possibly flirtatious woman at the register? Maybe. Did it do me any good? Fuck no. But in my chickenshit defense she was actually finishing up her break and getting back on the registers just as I was leaving...BOTH TIMES! Impecable timing. Feeling discouraged, I came back to the Magic 8 Ball and asked it again. It's sources now said no. Who the fuck are these sources? Do you even have any sources or are you just basing it on my own confidence level at that time so you're always right? Who knows.
So, all day today I was thinking (hoping rather) that someone would call me and ask me to do something today so I wouldn't spend another day in my apartment alone with my fucking DVD's and guitars. Wouldn't you know it, two single guys actually call me and ask me to join them for free wings at the Ground Round. Great! I can go out to a bar that would most likely not host Valentine's Day couples, but rather single women. I won't appear creepy because I'm there with my buddies and not drinking alone. I figure we'll hang out for awhile, maybe scope the room for some chicks, or whatever it is we guys do when we're...what...on the prowl? I don't even know. And that didn't happen. I came, I had a beer, I ate free wings, and I went home to 2 new rentals from Netflix and an out of tune Fender.
Now I'm just pissed. I debate like the mother fucking Clash: "Should I stay or should I go?" Why does it matter? It didn't matter yesterday. But I want to go out. I want to so bad, but I'm scared. I wouldn't know what to do. There is a club DIRECTLY behind my apartment building that I could get painstakingly drunk at, possibly meet someone and have a good fucking night. Instead I read my friends' blogs before writing my annual VD blog. I'm not even bitter about V-Day because I don't hate people who do have someone. My mom told me yesterday that all her plans for today were a secret and Al couldn't know, and I thought it was the cutest thing ever.
I hate the whole misinterpretation of this whole day. First of all, it isn't for today, it's all fucking month. It's almost as bad as Christmas after Halloween. "Oh, New Years is over, time to get ready for Valentine's day!" Almost a month ago my supervisor at the bank asked me if I wanted to take part in a small Valentine, inner office exchange. Of course I said yes, because it's always fun to participate...and get free candy. Plus, I made a Valentine box like we used to in grade school for people to place their Valentine cards in. It said, "Lance's V-Day Box of Love...Because chicks dig bald, scrawny, white guys." And it had my top 5 V-Day pick up lines that I stole from my ADS sophmore year written on the back of it. I received several compliments from my co-workers, several of whom I hadn't even met, saying it was, cute, halarious, a riot, and down right enjoyable. It served its purpose of helping people get to know me better, and introducing me to others in my department. However, all the women who really liked it already knew me and are either married or practically married.
I'm sorry I'm rambling, but my point is this:
It really sucks that there's a day requiring you to celebrate the one you love in order to boost the economy because of the dry spell after the holidays. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the day to celebrate your relationship called your anniversary? How I feel, and how I've always felt, is that you shouldn't need one day set aside to appreciate the one you love. It shouldn't be on your anniversary, or Valentine's day, or a birthday, or whatever Day it might be. What's romantic about such a requirement? Wouldn't it feel more heartfelt if it was done just because?
"Hey, I saw this and thought of you today." or, "I really missed you today, so I did this to show you how much you mean to me." Or, God damnit why can't we just say, "I love you, and I did this because I love you so much. Not because it's Valentine's Day, not because I thought I should, but because I wanted to. Because you mean so fucking much to me I don't know what I'd do without you, and I just thought you deserved to know that." God bless those of you out there who do that.
To all my friends who are feeling down today, don't. If it wasn't for Hallmark, it'd be just like any other day. Please, God, don't feel unloved. Even though this may not be the kind of love you're looking for, I do want to say that I love you, and not because it's Valentine's Day, but because you deserve to know that.
posted by L-Kapitan | 9:08 PM
2 Comments:
I was so hoping that you were going to write a V-day blog because no one can trash V-day like you can! And I am totally with you, single or not, V-day is stupid. But I am kind of a hippocrit because I do send people Valentines. But I also send those same people cards on any other day.
I am in a relationship and my V-day was pretty shitty (up until the end). Zack and I were having our first arguement, which is never fun. But everything got resolved and he cooked my a nice dinner.
And I want you to know that I love you too, Lance. And not in the way I love you on Tuesdays! And trust me, a great guy like you will not be single long...just hang in there.
Lance,
I knew you'd had a great VD blog. And you need to blog more often. It was a blast reading this...
I love to hear Lance stories. And I'd love for you to stuff my box with a valentine any day!
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