Am I Dead?

In answer to this question posted by my good buddy, Ryan in his fabulous new blog: no. No, I am not dead. I'm a little busy, and just a wee bit lazy. I have had plenty to blog about, but just so little time to sit and type it out. I've barely had time to view all of your blogs. I simply put your here because I know you five are the only ones who really read my blog. I did finally catch up on all your blogs today and will graciously copy Chadley in his latest blog effort by simply listing the things that have been blog worthy in my life thus far. I must warn you, though, my bullets will be a bit lengthier.

1) Labor Day weekend (yeah, that long ago), I went to the cities and visited so many people for my birthday. Brian and I got to see Jean, and Chad at the MMC and met one of Jean's roommates. Chad had a gaping wound on his head and had no problem accepting that chicks dig scars. Jean gave me the coolest Superman shirt I've ever owned in my life (next to the one she gave me a few years ago). I got to see Ethan Scott for the first time. He and I shared a beer as he too was celebrating a birthday (3 weeks old). We received the worst service ever as we enjoyed a 3 hour meal at Columbia Heights' Buffalo Wild Wings. Ryan Dunn got his meal comped because it didn't get put in until after everyone else received our food. Kat's naked chicken was cold (probably because they were naked) and she had to go get it heated up herself. We got $20 in coupons for the horrible service, but we still had to seperate the check ourselves, which took another 20 minutes. We were so anxious to leave, I left my digital camera under my chair and I believe our server mistook it for a tip, because I'm pretty sure she kept it since they told me no one turned it in. Oh well, at least I was able to drink the loss away with a few good games of caps. I got to see Jennifer, Amanda, Jess, and Topher who I met during my 2 year stay in Wisconsin. We all had a great time at Cindy and Ryan's house after Buffalo Wild Wings. Adam and Gina gave me a Cuban cigar that they smuggled over from Mexico. I got to hang out with Stacy and Eric to try and help out with Ethan all day on Sunday. Then I got to see my big brother Pat, from the big brother big sister program that I hadn't seen in about 6 years. And I got to meet his two daughters for the first time. Hopefully pictures with all of them will come soon. Again, my camera was gone.

2) I've been at my job with U.S. Bank's service center for almost a month now, and to show their appreciation they gave me (and every other CSR) a $100 debit card to spend where ever the fuck we want! Ummm, what? The title of this blog was going to be thus:
"I got $100! I got $100! I got $100, hey hey hey hey!" As cool as that gift was, I was still a little weary about where this "extra" appreciative gift was coming from. Apparently, U.S. Bank has been doing very well this past year. Especially since June 22, when they issued the $10 phone payment fee. All these $10 phone payment fees (and pretty much any other fee) paid for our little bonus. Hmm, charge people $10 for a convience to pay employees with more incentive, or don't charge $10 fee and be one of the few credit cards to be so kind. I wrestled with it for awhile and realized people don't have to pay over the phone. Mail is practically free, internet is fee, and paying right at the branch is free. Plus, if you have a U.S. Bank account you can pay over the phone for free. I don't think that sounds bad at all. And what sounds even better: "Lance gets a new MP3 player." Yay! Have I sold out to the Man. Stay tuned for further updates...in about a month.

3) Okay, so I don't have an MP3 player yet. That's because for the past two weeks I've been interviewing for a part-time position at Best Buy only to find out they don't have any openings. Umm, why the hell did you call me in for two interviews than? WTF? Apparently they wanted me to work there. They called me in for an interview. Said I did great and wanted me to meet with the woman in charge of the Media department because my, and I quote, "talents would be wasted elsewhere." Well that sounds good. I go in for a second interview and am later told I passed with flying colors, and did better than most others who applied. From the little information I've gathered I feel the jist of it is this: I impressed them, they want me to work in a department that is currently over staffed, and before I could offer my "talents" in a different department they gave those positions to other applicants. So, now I have to wait a month to reapply/interview for a position in the Media department that may or may not be available at that time. Oooookaaayyy. That MP3 player will have to wait until I get that phat discount and extra money.

4) Finally, last night as I was hanging out with Raeanne, who is visiting friends and staying at my place this weekend, I got pulled over. I know big shocker right. No, but you know what was shocking? I got a fucking warning! What? You? A warning? No $150 ticket for speeding? No overnight stay in jail with a $400 bond? No breathalizer? What's going on? I don't know, and I don't care as long as it keeps working. I had my cruise set on 60mph in a 55 zone and thought, "You've got to be fucking kidding me. You're stopping me for 5 miles over?" The officer walks up and actually says, "Good evening, Sir." Sir? Me? Interesting. He than informs me that he clocked me at 65mph in a 55 where I gasp, "65?" He asks me how fast I thought I was going. I calmly point at my speedomoter and state, "I had my cruise set right between 55 and 60, Sir." And like that he says, "Alright, I'll just give you a warning. Just come back with me to my car for a moment." First reaction, "What? Warning? Are you serious? Woo hoo!" Second reaction, "Umm, why do I have to go in you car? This is not good." But it was. He let me sit in the front seat, was extremely polite and simply gave me a warning. I could not fucking believe it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Man I love being a turtle." No wait, I mean, "Man I love Fargo!"

So much writing because I finally got a break. Too bad Minnesota can't catch a break. If Cullpepper throws another interception I'm going to puthe. At least the Bison are still undefeated. Gooday all. Enjoy the rest of this horrible, horrible start to the NFL season.