"Yeah, well, Spielberg never went to film school!"
Yeah, I had no idea either. I always thought Spielberg was one of those famous NYU graduates. Nope, turns out that was Martin Scorsese. Spielberg just came into filmmaking around the same time as these other famous directors out of film school. You may have heard of them: George Lucas, Francis Ford Coppola, and Marty of course. Steven never did though. He did, however, probably have some connections to get his foot in the door. Oh yeah, and he's a freakin' genious!
Anyway, my point is after finally finishing my pathetic attempt at grad school applications begging to get into film school I've come to the realistic (not negative, being down on myself way) conclusion that I'm not going to be accepted to film school. I have no portfolio because even a portfolio costs too much money. I have a 3.00 GPA at a decent University and I currently reside in Fargo North Dakota. Sure they have a pretty good film festival once a year, but I haven't even submitted anything into that.
When I first came to this realization I was flipping out. I was feeling worthless, like my life was never going to amount to anything because I'm too Goddamn lazy to do something about it. I'm already 25 years old and have nothing to show for it. Even my college education is meaningless because both my jobs I currently hold have no need for one. Have no girlfriend because I have no self esteem and feel like I have no idea what I could possibly offer the opposite sex (except maybe a nice ass, but that will one day get fat I promise you that).
Now that I've applied, but am still looking at other possible schools I've been trying to figure out if that's really where I want to go. Yeah, I'd love to learn all I can about film making, but I didn't even apply to UCLA or NYU because they're way out of my league. Even graduates from there aren't guaranteed shit. It's such a competitive business only the best of the best go anywhere (and even they need some kind of connection to get started).
Basically it's come down to this: If by some miracle I even get accepted anywhere, is it going to be worth the 10's of 1,000's of dollars and three more years of my rapidly fading life to pursue or should I just save up that money myself find one of my many ideas I feel most passionate about and go Kevin Smith on everyone's ass by doing it myself? I'm kind of leaning toward the latter, but we'll see what happens. Until then, here's to alternative options.
Anyway, my point is after finally finishing my pathetic attempt at grad school applications begging to get into film school I've come to the realistic (not negative, being down on myself way) conclusion that I'm not going to be accepted to film school. I have no portfolio because even a portfolio costs too much money. I have a 3.00 GPA at a decent University and I currently reside in Fargo North Dakota. Sure they have a pretty good film festival once a year, but I haven't even submitted anything into that.
When I first came to this realization I was flipping out. I was feeling worthless, like my life was never going to amount to anything because I'm too Goddamn lazy to do something about it. I'm already 25 years old and have nothing to show for it. Even my college education is meaningless because both my jobs I currently hold have no need for one. Have no girlfriend because I have no self esteem and feel like I have no idea what I could possibly offer the opposite sex (except maybe a nice ass, but that will one day get fat I promise you that).
Now that I've applied, but am still looking at other possible schools I've been trying to figure out if that's really where I want to go. Yeah, I'd love to learn all I can about film making, but I didn't even apply to UCLA or NYU because they're way out of my league. Even graduates from there aren't guaranteed shit. It's such a competitive business only the best of the best go anywhere (and even they need some kind of connection to get started).
Basically it's come down to this: If by some miracle I even get accepted anywhere, is it going to be worth the 10's of 1,000's of dollars and three more years of my rapidly fading life to pursue or should I just save up that money myself find one of my many ideas I feel most passionate about and go Kevin Smith on everyone's ass by doing it myself? I'm kind of leaning toward the latter, but we'll see what happens. Until then, here's to alternative options.
posted by L-Kapitan | 5:50 PM
3 Comments:
Lance I can totally relate to what you're saying. But, like I have to keep telling myself...don't give up on things. If you truly think that grad school isn't going to benefit you, there's nothing wrong with that...that's exactly why I decided not to go. But, if you think you'd be able to really gain from it, then continue to pursue it. Work on a portfolio and apply again.
You're a great person with amazing ideas and a lot of determination. I know that it's easy to forget those things. And hey- you do have a lot to offer the opposite sex...I'm just guessing there aren't too many appreciative women in Fargo.
Come see us again in Saint Paul...we miss you down here (we meaning Jean and I...and I say Saint Paul cuz my house is your house!) Love ya!
Shan pretty much hit the nail on the head. If you don't want to go...then don't go. But don't give up if this is what you really want to do. Lord knows that you would be an awesome director!
And the whole girlfriend thing is overrated anyway! You SHOULD know that you have a ton to offer the ladies. I just think you are way to sophisticated for the ladies of FARGO! All you need there is a 4wheel drive pick-up and a six pack (for beer...not nice abs).
Sorry I missed your phone call yet again. We will connect soon...I promise.
Lance, you have to stop being so down on yourself! Any girl would be lucky to have you.
It's okay that you're going through this change-where-am-I-going-thing right now. IT's natural for anyone.
I have the same issues with my degree--100 people apply for the same job--graduates aren't guaranteed anything. I definitely know that feeling.
If you don't go to school now, then it's just not the time for that--it's just time for something else. Maybe to make money, maybe to learn something about yourself, maybe to maybe to change your environment, maybe to do more prep for a future career--whatever that may be.
It's a transition period, but things are going to be fine. You are going to be happier soon.
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