Happy Anti-Valentine's Day

So, in my attempt to exit the demeaning, lack of skill job that is Blockbuster, I spent most of my day today at the computer in hopes of entering the real world of careers almost two years after earning an actual college degree. It's a lot of work without immediate results. I decided to take a break and check my e-mail. This break was much too short. Not really feeling like continuing my search for something better today I decided to reminisce by looking at old forwards I either wrote or received in college that I felt were worthy of saving.

In my reminiscence, I stumbled across a forward written by myself and my roommate at the time and very good friend Ryan Clover. We also had a little help from Whoopi Goldberg. It was a top 10 list that we wrote about why Valentine's Day might suck for some people (single people to be exact). And although I wasn't single at the time, I certainly had (and have) my own personal quips about the Hallmark holiday that is Valentine's Day. The other thing about Anti-Valentine's Day is that it comes right after Valentine's Day for those who want to vent about actual Valentine's Day. We aired our top 10 list on our college radio show which just so happened to be a Tuesday the 15th--just like today. And since it is Ryan's birthday today (Happy Birthday, buddy) I thought it would be appropriate to share this hopefully humorous blog to V-haters everywhere. So, without further ado here is the Anti-Valentine's Day top 10 reason's why Valentine's Day sucks major ass:

10) Instead of receiving valentines in the mail, you get a restraining order from the one you love, and you can't see them for at least 12 months in order to thank them!

9) If You rearrange the letters in Saint Valentine's Day you get the phrase: "An evil Satan destiny!" and no good could ever come from that.

8) Not only are roses $70 a dozen, but the hooker you want to give them to expects more money as well!

7) It's the only other day of the year besides Christmas when you can't look up porn on the internet without feeling guilty.

6) Some people get so lonely and depressed they don't mind when their dog starts humping their leg.

5) For some reason you always get the little candy hearts that say "Bite me!" or "You suck!" on them.

4) You can't buy your partner eatable panties because they give you gas.

3) It doesn't matter if you "get some" because you had to buy flowers and candy first. Any other day you'd get it for free.

2) All the love in the air is bad for the o-zone!

1) It's a day like any other except you end up broke, and Hallmark ends up earning even more money so they can continue making those cheesy little commercials and made for T.V. movies we all love so very much!

So remember, just because Hallmark and corporate America say February 14th is a day to be spent honoring your significant other doesn't mean you can't just sit back and love yourself. You don't even have to buy yourself flowers, but chocolate certainly can't hurt. And if you do have a significant other than you should treat everyday like Valentine's Day and express how much you care for them, not just on February 14th.

Happy Anti-Valentine's Day!